legends · 4 min read ·
Flue Report
A chimney sweep's ledger lists what has been laid on ledges in a flue that has no top.
**T. Marden & Son, Chimney Sweeps — Ledger of Work Done**
*Each job: address, flue, condition on arrival, what was removed, certificate issued.*
· · ·
**14 Oct · 3 Chantry Lane · Open fire, lounge**
Condition: heavy soot, nest (jackdaw), no obstruction. Brushed from below. Removed 4 kg soot, 1 nest.
Certificate issued. Fire safe to use.
**15 Oct · 22 Ashby Road · Wood burner, kitchen**
Condition: tar glaze, 2 mm. Chemical treatment applied, brushed. Removed 1.5 kg.
Certificate issued.
**16 Oct · 9 Priory Close · Open fire, dining room**
Condition: clear. Brushed for form's sake. Removed 0.3 kg.
Certificate issued.
· · ·
**17 Oct · 41 Weir Street · Open fire, back bedroom**
Condition on arrival: no soot. Flue unlined, brick, very old. The customer, Mr. Pallister, said the fire had not been lit since he moved in and asked only that I check it was safe.
Brushed from below with a four-metre rod. At 3 m the brush met resistance. Not a nest, not a blockage of soot, but a soft give, then a firm hold, like pushing a brush into packed cloth.
Removed from the flue by hand, with the hood closed: one coat, grey wool, folded.
Certificate: **withheld**. Reason: flue not clear. Further inspection needed.
· · ·
**18 Oct · 41 Weir Street · Return visit**
Removed by hand: one pair of boots, leather, laced; a woman's hat; a man's watch, stopped at 04:10; a ring of keys, rusted; an enamel cup. Everything was dry and perfectly clean. No soot on any of it.
Brush met further resistance at 4 m. I could hear a faint sound in the chimney, which was not wind, a low even sound like a man humming through closed lips.
Mr. Pallister asked whether I had found the owner of the coat. I said the coat did not look as if it had an owner. He said: "No. It just looks as though it's being kept."
Certificate: **withheld**.
· · ·
**19 Oct · 41 Weir Street · Third visit**
Customer asked me not to continue. I told him I wouldn't sign off a flue I couldn't clear. I brought a camera on a rod, the kind used for drains.
The camera showed the flue to a depth of 6 m. At every metre there was something on a ledge in the brickwork: a hat, a glove, a pair of spectacles, a pipe, a tin box. Each object was laid on its ledge with care, in a row, spaced as in a shop window. At 6 m the beam lost the walls. The flue widened into a space with no top.
At the edge of the light there was a hand on a ledge, resting palm down, as if the person were leaning on a counter.
Certificate: **refused**. I have asked Mr Pallister to remove the hearthstone and to leave the grate cold.
· · ·
**Note in ledger, 20 Oct**
I have been sweeping chimneys for thirty-one years, as my father did. Dad said: "Never light a fire you haven't looked up." He said it in jest, mostly. I looked up 41 Weir Street. I looked up for a long time.
There is a rule I was taught and I have written it here so my apprentice has it. A flue is a throat. If something is kept in it, someone is feeding it. A fire lit under a kept thing is a fire lit under a person.
· · ·
**Customer letter (Mr. Pallister, 24 Oct)**
*Dear Mr. Marden, I have taken your advice and left the grate cold. But the house is not cold. The back bedroom is warm all the time now. The air in it smells of old wool and clean ash, and I keep finding objects on the hearth that I have not put there. Today it was a pocket watch, stopped at 04:10.*
*I enclose the watch. I would prefer you didn't send it back.*
· · ·
**Certificate (T. Marden & Son, 25 Oct)**
*Chimney at 41 Weir Street, back bedroom, tested and found not to be safe for use.*
*Advice to occupier: do not light this fire. If it lights itself, leave the room and close the door behind you. Do not look up.*