legends · 4 min read ·
Order Slips
A butcher's order book contains a slip for eighty kilograms of meat that he cannot identify.
**Pardoe & Sons, Family Butchers — Order Slips (Saturday)**
*Pickup orders. Customer name, cut, weight, price, notes.*
- **Slip · Name · Order · Weight · Price · Notes**
- 14 · Mrs. Hale · Sirloin, trimmed · 1.2 kg · £28.80
- 15 · Mr. Doyle · Lamb shoulder · 2.0 kg · £34.00
- 16 · Mrs. Okoro · Chicken, whole · 1.8 kg · £11.70
- 17 · Mr. Frane · Pork belly · 1.5 kg · £13.50
- 18 · Mr. A. Lowther · **Rump** · **80 kg** · **£0.00** · **Paid.**
· · ·
**Shop notes (J. Pardoe, Saturday 11 October)**
Slip 18 was in the tray when I opened up. It was written on a slip from our own book, in blue biro, in a hand I don't know. The customer's name is Lowther. We do not have a customer by that name. The order is for 80 kg of rump. We have never sold 80 kg of anything in a single order. The price column says £0.00 and the note says *Paid*.
I looked in the walk-in. There was nothing on the hook labelled with Lowther's name. On the middle rail a side of something hung in a muslin cloth. I did not put it there.
· · ·
**Shop notes (continued)**
The side in the muslin cloth was a large, pale cut, trimmed, hung, and ready. The weight on the scale was 80.0 kg exactly. It was not beef. The grain of the meat was wrong, too fine, and the fat was pale yellow and set in thin sheets. It was a pleasant, clean-smelling cut.
I am a butcher. I know the carcasses. I know what comes in on a lorry. I have been cutting meat for thirty-one years and I know that this was not an animal I could name. I did not touch it.
· · ·
**Till roll extract (Pardoe & Sons, Monday 13 October)**
09:02 · Sirloin 1.1 kg · £26.40
09:15 · Lamb chops 0.8 kg · £14.40
09:31 · Sausages 0.6 kg · £4.20
09:48 · **Rump 80.0 kg · £0.00 (pre-paid, order 18)**
*Till entry rung by operator ID 1. The till shows the entry was made at 09:48, with a customer present. The operator is J. Pardoe. J. Pardoe was in the back room.*
· · ·
**Customer's note (found on the counter, Tuesday 14 October, handwritten on the back of a receipt)**
*Dear Mr. Pardoe,*
*I'm sorry about the muddle. I'd intended to collect this on Saturday, but I was held up. Please keep it hung till I can come. It's a good cut. I know the grain is not what you're used to. I have prepared it carefully, with respect, in the old manner, and it is quite safe. It will keep.*
*It is of course not for me.*
*Yours sincerely,*
*A. Lowther*
· · ·
**Shop notes (Wednesday 15 October)**
I rang the Environmental Health office. A kind lady asked if the cut was labelled. I said it was labelled with a name. She asked whose. I said Lowther. She said she would send an officer on Thursday.
On Thursday morning the muslin was on the floor of the walk-in, neatly folded. The hook was empty. There was a dark patch on the sawdust, dry, the shape of a pair of boots standing together.
The officer arrived at 10:00. She inspected the shop, the cold room, the knives, the bins. She found nothing wrong. She wrote in her book: *premises clean*.
· · ·
**Order slip 19 (Saturday 18 October)**
- **Slip · Name · Order · Weight · Price · Notes**
- 19 · Mr. Pardoe · **Rump** · **84 kg** · **£0.00** · **Paid.**
*In my own hand, on our own book, in blue biro. I did not write it. I looked at the date. It is for collection this evening.*
*I have no one to ask. I have closed the shop. I stayed late to take stock. I have been through the cold room. On the middle rail, in a muslin cloth, there is something hanging that was not there at four o'clock. The scale says 84.0 kg.*
*It is the exact weight I weighed this morning, at the surgery, with my coat on.*